A resignation love letter
Elizabeth Gilbert talks about the spiritual practice of writing love letters to yourself. The practice is simple: when things feel hard, write a compassionate and loving letter to yourself. Say all the things you wish somebody else would say to you. Since hearing her speak on the topic, I’ve used this same practice, time and time again, to soothe and reassure myself when I feel alone, depressed, or crippled by fear.
Last year, I made the decision to leave my corporate job of over a decade, and take a left turn into the unknown. I didn’t have a job lined up; I just knew that this wasn’t it. I didn’t want to follow a normative path anymore, and I wanted to take time to explore my humanity, creativity, and freedom. I felt confident in the decision, but I was also scared shitless. So on my last day with the company, I decided to write myself a letter. I told myself all the things I needed to hear. This letter marked my resignation from one chapter and evolution into the next.
Today, I’m sharing that love letter with you.
July 9th 2022
Good morning, love. Today we are celebrating your last day at this job. After ten years with the company, you are finally closing the book on this chapter. You are prepared for this. You are ready. You have everything you need to take this leap of faith and now it’s time to fly. You have been working towards this day, and now you are here.
Before we go, I want you to look back on all that you’ve accomplished, and take it all in. Ten years ago, you came to Seattle, alone, to start your career. You were only 22 years old, a baby, and excited for this new adventure. You were also very unsure about who you were and where you wanted to go. I’m proud of you for taking the step to move out here. I think you knew you needed to leave your family of origin to become fully you. To heal. To love yourself again.
In the early days, you worked very hard. You worked hard to build your career and prove your worth. You worked from dawn until dusk, chasing the next promotion and overachieving your way to the top. In your twenties, you did whatever anyone asked of you. You pushed to make your presence known, to uphold an impossible standard of perfectionism. You were burnt out and disconnected from your body, and you used this disconnection as a way to numb the fear and pain.
While all of this is true, I’d be remiss not to mention the cool and amazing stuff you did along the way. You created new products, programs, and events that made a meaningful impact. You explored new technologies and innovations and ways of doing things. You expanded your mind. You brought new ideas into existence. You led your first team and helped them grow to new levels. You upheld your values and stood up for what you believed in. You made your customers feel seen and heard and made their lives the tiniest bit easier. You showed up with authenticity and integrity. You inspired people to be their truest, most beautiful selves. You made a tiny dent in this place.
Not only that, but this job brought you to new places and opened up channels to interesting people around the world. You walked through the halls of the Taj Mahal. You ate dumplings in Beijing. You drank wine with gorgeous strangers in Prague. You rode the subway in Japan. You met wonderful people and found mentors in the most unexpected of places.
You did things that you never thought possible for yourself.
Wow, deep breath. Take it all in, sweet sister.
While all of this is amazing—and I truly do not mean to downplay all that you’ve done—I am most proud of how you’ve grown. Not as a professional, but as a human being. You’ve leaned into yourself. You came home to yourself. And each moment, each milestone, each perceived disaster was a stepping stone towards your healing.
Let’s look back on the past decade. Your parents got divorced and moved out of your childhood home. You went to therapy and made peace with old wounds. You let go of old patterns and behaviors that were keeping you from yourself. You confronted your anxiety and depression. You paid off your student loans. You discovered yoga and meditation. For the first time, you connected to your breath. You went through a pandemic. You looked at uncomfortable parts of yourself. You met a wonderful man, built a home with him, and then blew up your life when you realized it was not for you. You traveled the world. You made and lost friends.
You started to peel back the layers of your authentic self. You went on a date with a woman—something you never thought you would allow yourself to do. You came out. YOU CAME OUT! To yourself, and to the world. You explored your sexuality and gender expression. You fell in love with a fantastic human. You created a life partnership with this person. You opened yourself up to intimacy and connection. You let people in. You allowed yourself to be seen.
You made lots of mistakes along the way, and every single one of them was part of your growth and evolution.
Most importantly, you learned to trust yourself. You got vulnerable. You softened. You let your guard down. You began to relax. You evolved, and you grew into a new version of yourself.
You are still growing, sweet love. Keep going.
Now, this chapter is no longer serving you as it once was. You know that, and I know that. It’s time to pause and reflect on where you’ve been and what is next. Fear has been holding you back, and it’s time to let go of the edge. Remember, this job has helped you get to this point, but you are your most valuable asset. You have achieved these feats and made space for these things to come forward. As you move to the next chapter, you’ll take you with you. No matter where you go, you will create greatness. You will find new opportunities, ones that are more beautiful and true, ones that ignite your curiosity and bring you joy and expansion and freedom.
Make yourself available to the universe. Take on interesting projects that excite you. Get creative. Release control and wipe away the roadmap and the plan. Let things come to you, and stay awake so that you can see them when they arrive.
You are exactly where you need to be. There is nothing to fear. When you fall, I will catch you.
I am so so proud of you for choosing yourself.
You have everything you need. The next journey begins now.
Nicole is coach, business mentor, and entrepreneur living in the Pacific Northwest. She specializes in life coaching and business mentoring for individuals, entrepreneurs, and creatives.
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