Crossing the Threshold into your ideal life
Today I’m thinking about how we get from where we are to where we really want to be. How we cross over from our mundane life into a fantastic new world.
We've all felt that tiny nudge inside that wants more for ourselves. I worked at Amazon for over a decade, and for a lot of those years, I was itching for a new way of being. One thing that kept me stuck for so long was the idea that, one day, I was just going to wake up and magically know what my purpose was.
In this daydream, I'd have big turning point "aha" moment where everything just magically came together, where I just stumbled upon my ideal life.
One day, I thought, I'd find a new job that looked good from the outside, with a clean cut title that made perfect sense to the world. It would pay me a lot of money, and it required very little sacrifice on my part. To get there, I didn't need to exhibit much courage whatsoever. I didn’t need to spend time learning a new skill or getting uncomfortable. It would just…happen.
I'll be an author, or a podcast host, or work at a reputable nonprofit that my friends and colleagues (and the invisible strangers on the internet) would admire. I'd give my 2-week notice, and I'd walk out of that workplace with a Destiny's Child song playing in the background, right into my ideal life.
In this ridiculous fantasy, I'd be really good at whatever I chose to do without any struggles or failures or wrong turns. There'd be no judgment from the outside world. This life would land in my lap, and I wouldn't have to confront my own shit, or let go of my attachments. Huzzah!
Wishful thinking, my dude.
The unfortunate reality is that this isn't how it goes down…at all.
Here's the thing about stepping into our ideal life…
It doesn't just get handed to us on a silver platter. It takes trust. It’s a process of trial and error. And it absolutely requires that you move through your fear.
You might be familiar with the hero's journey, a common template for storytelling where the hero receives a call for adventure, is victorious in a crisis, and returns home transformed. On the "road of trials", the hero faces a series of tests and obstacles that they must overcome to reap the rewards. Intrinsic to the process is death and rebirth.
In that same way, finding our purpose is a LITERAL journey. There are lots of twists and turns, and whether you like it or not, it takes courage, and we gotta face our own stuff. There's no way around it. We don't just magically get to the end of transformation. In order to step into a new version of ourselves, we must cross the threshold, leave what’s comfortable, and enter into what's unfamiliar.
And the reward, the elixir, the magical world that you cross over into…is OH-SO worth it. Even if you can’t see it yet.
Along the hero's journey, the hero is usually reluctant to follow the call for adventure, either afraid of what might happen or satisfied with what is. And then, a mentor figure appears (cue: Gandalf, Glinda The Good Witch, Morpheus). The mentor helps the hero face the unknown, accept their fate, and move towards transformation.
Working with a coach is a lot like this. When I left corporate, I was navigating a whole new way of being. There was less security and more unknowns. I needed to learn how to move through the fear of creating my own path that not everyone would understand. My coaches have been my greatest assets for navigating the unfamiliar world. A coach will challenge your assumptions about what’s holding you back. They will help you trust yourself, lean into the things you really want, and navigate the challenges that arise as you cross over into the unknown.
One of my favorite exercises to do with clients is to get deep in envisioning the visceral details of their ideal life, and most importantly, how they want to feel from moment to moment. Then we dig into what's getting in the way of where they want to be. We look at the stories and beliefs that are holding them back and, like a loose tooth, start to give them a little wiggle. We identify small "one-degree" turns to help them step into this life, and then relish in the magic and alignment that starts to unfold.
The transformation is not impossible. But it is going to require that you accept the quest.
So, with that, I have a series of questions.
Are you ready to answer to the call for adventure?
To cross the threshold and step into the unknown?
What's holding you back?
And what needs to shift/evolve/change in order for you to cross over into what you REALLY want?
If (and when) you are ready to make a shift, I got you. Just reach out.
Nicole is coach, consultant, and entrepreneur living in the Pacific Northwest. She specializes in personal and professional coaching, small business & creative coaching, and strategic consulting.
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