Your answer is beyond the binary
I want to share a message that I received, by way of a ceramic bowl.
I've been practicing pottery for the past several years, and my teacher often jokes that how we work with clay is how we approach life. In other words, the art provides a window into our own thinking.
I recently worked on a bowl that took me several hours to complete. When it finally came out of the kiln, I was really disappointed in the final product. It was splotchy and the glazes had all run together. I left the studio that day near tears, wallowing in the fact that this was a complete waste of time.
My logical brain told me that this ceramic bowl was either a success or a failure. It either met my expectations or it didn't. It was either worth my time, or it wasn't.
Alas, I was stuck in the trap of binary thinking.
Our minds are bifurcating machines. We have the tendency to simplify the world into two categories. We limit our thinking to true or false statements, right or wrong groupings, and can or cannot assertions.
Is this choice the right one, or the wrong one?
Should I find something new, or stay where I am?
If I don't win, I lose.
They are either for me or against me.
We pit two opposing forces against each other, and ask ourselves to choose a side. What a limiting way of viewing the world.
Our brains do this because it’s a more efficient way of processing information. It’s comfortable and it’s easy, and it provides our minds with a short cut for solving problems. When we're working with linear problems and equations, binary thinking makes sense.
But the reality is that we are non-linear beings, and our lives are complex and nuanced. When we rely too heavily on binary thinking, we become rigid and unable to see the other options that are available to us. It distorts our ability to think outside the box and figure out what’s what.
When faced with a decision, this is where most people get stuck (myself included). We get into a gridlock with ourselves, and then never make any moves.
A lot of the work I do as a coach is helping people to release their stronghold on the binary and move beyond the dichotomous viewpoint. When we widen our lens and get curious, we see there are many more than two options.
When we release the grasp on either/or thinking, we get access to new information, opportunities, possibilities, and ways of doing things.
We stop focusing on the two endpoints and start to see the vibrant colors across the spectrum.
Most of the time, your next step is in the in-between.
Returning to the ceramic bowl for a moment…there are most definitely more than two options. Maybe this pot could be a flower planter where new life can grow. Maybe it could be broken up and made into a mosaic. Or maybe this pot was just a beautiful mistake, teaching me a little more about glazes and bringing me one step closer to what I want to make in the future.
So I ask you, where is your thinking trapped in the binary?
Realistic or Idealistic. Possible or Impossible. Feasible or Unattainable. Ready or Not Ready.
Wherever that is, loosen the grip and look a bit closer.
Ask yourself what you want, and then move beyond the two options.
Get curious and soften into the possibility that the answer lies somewhere in the middle, waiting to be unearthed.
Nicole is coach, consultant, and entrepreneur living in the Pacific Northwest. She specializes in personal and professional coaching, small business & creative coaching, and strategic consulting.
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